An introduction to Borderless Coaching

Andrew Bidnell, 31 August 2020

Overview

The recent rise of the #BlackLivesMatter campaign in US and many other countries, fuelled by yet more racist atrocities, serves as a reminder that the reality for many people is that we live in segregated societies – divided by difference and inequality. We must also recognise that barriers and borders are still being built, with words and actions. And yet our experience at The Diversity Practice is that difference can bring discovery. Difference can bring delight. Difference can make the difference. We believe that crossing borders and leveraging the dynamics of difference is critical for development of our economies, organisations, societies and families. It is fundamental to human rights. This is the belief that lies beneath Borderless Coaching.

An introduction to Borderless Coaching

In today’s VUCA world (volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity), made all the more volatile by COVID-19, to survive, and thrive, people in organisations must break down borders and collaborate successfully with colleagues, customers, suppliers and more. This can be challenging, and organisations are increasingly turning to experienced Coaches for support. To effectively support teams and individuals leverage the dynamics of difference, Coaches must also explore their own biases, assumptions, preferences and behaviours to deepen their self-awareness and heighten their skillset and capacity to support others fully. What does it mean to be an anti-racist Coach? How do I build my multi-cultural competence? Where can I develop my inclusion emotional intelligence (IEQ)?

Over the past few years we have built a Borderless Coaching framework and professional development programme that supports Coaches consider these and other questions, and deepen their understanding of who they are as a Coach. Together, we explore where borders are built and also removed through a Coach’s practice. The Borderless Coaching approach provides an accessible set of questions, tools and exercises that enable Coaches to skilfully leverage the dynamics, discomfort and delight of difference. We call it the 3, 4, 5 approach.

The Borderless Coaching 3, 4, 5 approach

3

Borderless Coaching is rooted in three principles:

Authenticity: Where the Coach is grounded in their identity, values and beliefs, reflexive, deeply self-aware – real, rooted, and comfortable in your own skin, the coach uses their own diversity/identity as a powerful resource in coaching conversation

Inclusive Connection: Coaches create deep third level client relationships that go beyond the surface, seeing the Client for who they are, and maximising the dynamics of difference in the coaching space

Diversity is a Strength: There is an unwavering belief that diversity as a positive, distinctive strength placing it at the heart of coaching the whole person, valuing and integrating every part of who the Client is

4

Borderless Coaching comes alive through four practices:

Inclusion EQ: – speaks to doing the deep work on self. Developing a deep awareness and understanding of our own biases, stereotypes and prejudices, skillfully managing and our emotional triggers, edges and responses to diversity

Integration – the practice of using the dynamics of difference in the coaching space by intentionally blending the diverse ways of being and doing that come from identity, culture and lived experience into our coaching practice

Immersion – the practice of understanding, stepping into and deeply honouring difference- race, gender, ethnicity, religion and belief, sexual orientation, holding multiple perspectives, embracing every part of who the client is without judgement

Beyond Borders: bringing all elements of the framework together to deliver high-impact, legacy driven coaching ‘creating a better world’ of inclusion that transcends borders within ourselves and outside of us

5

We pay particular attention to building five coaching behaviours

Embrace the discomfort: Know your edge and courageously step into the ZOUD (zone of uncomfortable discovery, difference and debate) for the sake of your client; stick with a difficult conversation; notice, embrace, voice and explore your fears, anxiety or unease

Listen to the orchestra: The capacity to tune into all the senses – hearing, seeing, feeling, sensing, really experiencing the Client – including the ability to ‘listen to the air’, the silence, the things not being said, and the subtle cues and nuances

Ask provocative questioning: Use powerful, ‘edgy’ questions that courageously empowers the Client to voice experiences, thoughts or feelings that shape how they show up in, and see the world; focus on what needs to shift with questions that transform, provoke and evoke authentic behavioural change

Be respectfully curious: Being deeply, genuinely, curious and inquisitive in a way that fully honours and respects the distinctive difference of the client

Value the difference: proactively value, acknowledge and champion the distinct and unique differences of clients through positive words, actions and behaviours

This Borderless coaching approach builds on existing coach practice, incorporates organisational development principles and then places a powerful focus on difference. It asks what more is required to create an inclusive coaching space where the dynamics of difference can thrive? It deepens the skills, mindset and attitude a Coach needs to be able to coach and support their Client in confidently and competently bringing the full essence of who they are to their lives and work.

“When I started diving a few years ago, I wanted to experience more than snorkelling on the surface.  With snorkelling I could take a deep breath, dive down for a few metres, stay there for a few seconds and then come back up. I stayed close to shore, could do it alone, and it was fun.  But nothing compares with the deep dive, the night dive, the boat dives that I experienced as part of the PADI training programmes. These deeper dives felt more risky. The night dive unveiled a whole new world. I needed training, equipment, a good buddy for support and I’ve had times when I’ve been really unsure about where I was swimming, and when to come back up to the surface. For me, this is what true Borderless Coaching is about.  It requires practice and training and tools to help. It’s challenging and can feel uncomfortable. And yet the benefits of going deeper with clients are far more sustainable. ‘Snorkelling coaching’ is ok – it can be supportive and produce useful results, but ‘Diving coaching’ – crossing borders is where I want to be as a Coach. It’s what we need to be as Coaches. It’s what our Clients need. It’s what organisations and the wider world needs.”

Get in touch to find out more about our Borderless coaching programmes.

More on building 5 coaching behaviours …

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Embrace discomfort: Know your edge and step into the ZOUD; Stick with a difficult conversation; Notice, embrace, voice and explore your fears, anxiety or unease

There is a great saying in the West Indies: “Bang your belly and get on with it”  which in many ways encapsulates what we’re talking about here.  A coaching conversation might feel uncomfortable, a question too risky, an observation too blunt.  Bang your belly!  Go there.  Welcome the discomfort.  Don’t mistake comfort for resonance.  There can be much resonance in discomfort, which breaks through barriers. Maybe discomfort in your body, in your mind, notice it, embrace it, voice it and explore where that takes your client.  Encourage clients to ͚go there too.  Hold them there.  Borderless coaching isn’t comfortable coaching.  It’s impactful coaching that can take a client from skimming over the surface to a deeper place where more learning is available. Notice your edge and step over it.

Valuing difference: proactively value, acknowledge and champion the distinct and unique differences of clients through positive words, actions and behaviours

Difference is like an uncut diamond that can be of so much value if it can be mined, uncovered, polished and integrated. Yet for many, experience has taught us that difference is something to be kept hidden; covered up. Avoided. An obstacle to be tackled. A hurdle to be overcome. An extra challenge to take on. In a borderless coaching relationship it is the opposite. Difference is an opportunity. We value difference.  Search it out. Shine a light on and explore it fully. As we say: “difference makes the difference.” There is so much learning available in diversity that just isn’t there when we don’t have it, go looking for it or we pass it over. So as Borderless Coaches we voice the differences a client brings – maybe it͛ is between client and coach, maybe between client and other relationships; sometimes it͛ is clear, sometimes less so – and positively acknowledge and give voice to those differences.  We call forth and champion our clients to powerfully bring the value that their distinctive difference brings to all their relationships.

Orchestral Listening: the capacity to tune into all the senses – hearing, seeing, feeling, sensing, really experiencing the client; ability to ‘listen to the air’, the silence, the things not being said, the subtle cues and nuances

Taking listening to a deeper level challenges us to go beyond listening to ourselves, listening to our clients and listening to what’s going on between us and around us. Orchestral listening goes further than tuning-in to the traditional instruments. It’s about our ability to pick out different sounds, tones, majors and minors coming from within an orchestra and beyond. Tribal music, drumbeats, strings, an array of different musical tastes and genres.  Orchestral listening is about tuning-in to the array of information that comes to us as a coach during a coaching relationship.  What am I hearing?  Seeing?  Feeling?  Sensing? It’s not just about what my ears are picking up, it’s what my whole body is responding to.  Borderless coaching challenges us not to restrict ourselves, to cross borders, go beyond the boundaries of our traditional musical taste. Listen to the whole orchestra and embrace what it’s saying.  Listening to the silence.  As the Japanese say: “listen to the air”. Different tones at different times, sometimes a whisper, sometimes loud, sometimes in sync, sometimes jarring, shifts in body language, shifts in the air around our conversation. Orchestral listening can be challenging and when done well provides a host of rich information to guide the content and delivery of our questions, our challenges, and the exploration of themes that resonate with our clients.

Respectful Curiosity: Being deeply, genuinely curious and inquisitive in a way that fully honours and respects the distinctive difference of the client

What would happen if we could be more curious in our coaching?  30% more curious.  Inquisitive.  In a respectful way that connects with our clients.  This requires coaches to be diversity competent– to use questions in a culturally respectful way that help clients open up rather than close down. Curiosity about identity, about what a client is bringing to the conversation and also curiosity about the conversation itself. Curiosity about the moment. Be curious.

Ask provocative questioning: Use powerful, ‘edgy’ questions that courageously empowers the Client to voice experiences, thoughts or feelings that shape how they show up in, and see the world; focus on what needs to shift with questions that transform, provoke and evoke authentic behavioural change

Powerful questions are a crucial coaching tool and we see opportunities to deepen our impact as coaches with questions that provoke reflection, reaction, response. Questions that unlock alternative perspectives. Questions that stop a client in her tracks. Cause him to pause. Open up another doorway through which to explore.  Another rung of a ladder upon which to climb. Or a deep breath for a deeper dive, uncovering the treasures that lie deep within. Questions that provoke our clients to utter out loud thoughts or feelings that have shaped and informed how they show up in the world and how they see the world, but have not till now been acknowledged or given a hearing. And it’s not just about the words, but also how and when we use provocative questions – right from the initial chemistry session, through to designing our alliance together, the coaching journey, and the final coaching session.